Ask Me How It Works

This event took place on June 25, 2022.

Hosted by Deepa Paul

Six years ago, writer Deepa Paul threw open her 14-year marriage to the wild winds of consensual non-monogamy. Her forthcoming memoir, Ask Me How It Works, attempts to answer the questions she is most often asked about her open marriage. Most importantly: can an open marriage really work? And how?

Drawing on her experiences as a polyamorous Filipina-Indian woman with a husband, daughter, boyfriend and multiple casual lovers, Deepa’s journey of self-discovery begins in the conservative, deeply Catholic Philippines—the last country on earth where divorce remains illegal—and takes her to Amsterdam, one of the world’s most liberal cities.

She will read excerpts from her memoir, touching on themes such as motherhood and identity, trust and infidelity, shame and vulnerability—and of course, pleasure and desire. Come and listen with a curious mind and open heart.

First reading at 18.00

Second reading at 19.00

Question and answer follows each reading.

Deepa Paul is a daughter of stories. From her mother, she learned that stories are a form of love. From her Filipina grandmother, she learned that stories are magic. From her Indian grandmother, she learned that if you write something down on a piece of paper, someone will want to read it.

Deepa is a freelance writer from Manila, the Philippines, now living in Amsterdam. She is the author of the memoir-in-progress, Ask Me How It Works: Frequently Asked Questions About My Open Marriage. As a copywriter, Deepa helps people with something worth saying, find the words to say it. As an essayist and memoirist, she is fascinated by the depth and range of human experience, and how words can help us shape, remember, and share it. In her bi-weekly Substack newsletter, she writes about the intersection of sex and relationships, motherhood and family, and writing and creativity. She shares daily visual stories on Instagram, under the name storiesbydeepa.

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